#Foodporn: Episode Two

Have you ever met anyone who doesn’t like chocolate? I have and they were weird. I could’t get my head around the fact that this seemingly normal human being in front of me was practically heaving at the thought of eating chocolate. Yes, heaving, such was their aversion to the brown stuff. I save heaving for special occasions like finding shell in scrambled egg or a hair in a salad, it’s certainly not my initial reaction when faced with chocolate.

I’ve grown up with chocolate. There has been a longstanding debate between Dairy Milk and Galaxy, my preference changing with my emotional state. I like both and choosing would be like a parent choosing their favourite child; difficult, sure, but largely dependant on mood. Dairy Milk, for me, has that childhood sweetness, filling me with nostalgia and giving me a toothache, whereas Galaxy is the grown up cousin, a bit sexy and deliciously creamy. As I’ve grown older I do flirt with other brands too, I have a particular fondness for Lindt, particularly the Lindor truffles, and love Montezuma’s dark chocolate buttons. These are the kinds of chocolate I save for best though, birthdays and special occasions made even better for it. If I’m crying over spilt wine or frizzy hair I want a quick, cheap fix, and go for the sweetest, sickliest options available to me. What could be nicer than coming home after a tough day and unwrapping your own little present of happiness, whether that’s Dairy Milk, Galaxy, or any other sugar loaded treat.

I read recently that there is nothing in chocolate that is scientifically proven to make you happy. Now, I don’t want to be seen as arguing with scientists, but they’re wrong. Surely. Have you ever made a batch of gooey chocolate brownies and taken them into work for your colleagues to enjoy? Let me tell you what happens when you do that. Faces start to contort, forming strange little expressions that turn into smiles, the entire mood lifts and everyone connects by talking about the shared moment of pleasure that everyone is experiencing at the same time. It’s a beautiful sight. Chocolate may not bring you the same kind of happiness as you might feel on your wedding day, or on the birth of your firstborn, but in a world that can be full of such hatred and sorrow, it’s a sure fire way to cheer you up, if only for a moment. I rely on chocolate when I’m feeling low. The intensely rich, sweet river that fills your mouth when the chocolate melts is all I need to perk me up. Likewise, if I am happy I celebrate with chocolate, any excuse goes really. Apparently chocolate has no addictive ingredients and therefore can’t be considered a drug. Well, I know that when I eat it I can get as high as a KitKat. I mean kite.


I’ve included below the most simple recipe for when you need a moment of happiness and tranquility in your stressful life. Enjoy.

Serves 1

What you need:

  • 1 bar of chocolate, of your choice

What you do:

  1. Start by making yourself comfortable. I suggest a big cosy jumper, slippers and a comfy space on the sofa. Or in bed if you’re a bit skanky.
  2. Remove any distractions, such as the dog/cat/husband/whatever may want to share the chocolate with you. Either put something you like on the TV or some nice music in the background and get yourself relaxed.
  3. Slowly open up your bar, taking in the sounds of the wrapper as it falls away from the chocolate and pay attention to the smell as the sweetness fills the room.
  4. When you are ready, take your first bite. Slowly, close your eyes and enjoy every taste sensation going on in your mouth, let the chocolate melt slowly to fully enjoy the texture.
  5. Get rid of the ridiculous instructions in steps 1-4 and just bloody eat it, getting it all over your face if you like. Then eat another one, and another until you feel blissfully sick.

For a calorie free chocolate hit, try this amazing chocolate orange candle from Bomb Cosmetics. I really do love chocolate in all its glorious forms. Off for an early Easter egg now. Until next time…



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