Recipe: American Pancakes with Bacon

Hell to the yeah. Who doesn’t love a good old American style breakfast binge? I make the easiest pancakes in the world and serve them up in a plethora of ways but sometimes traditional is best and you can’t go wrong with a stack of warm, fluffy pancakes, salty crispy bacon and the smokey sweetness of maple syrup. Sure, there are ways to make even better pancakes but mine are always good and I prefer a bit of easy prep first thing in the morning. My pancake recipe makes enough for around 12 pancakes, I will leave it up to you to decide how many that serves. Not that I would condone eating 12 pancakes. I only did it once OK!

What you need:

  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup of self raising white flour
  • 1 cup of milk
  • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • 2 rashers of crispy smoked back bacon per person
  • a vat of maple syrup

What you do:

  1. Very simply, crack your egg into a jug and add the flour and the milk and whisk until there are no lumps.
  2. Heat the coconut oil in a pan on a medium heat and once hot and melted pour little puddles of the pancake mixture into the pan. You can make them as large or as small as you like but the smaller they are, the less guilty you feel for eating more of them than is really acceptable.
  3. As soon as bubbles appear and pop on the surface of the pancakes, turn them over and cook on the other side for a minute or so.
  4. When ready, stack them up, put some crispy bacon on top and serve with maple syrup on the side so you can keep pouring as you make your way to the bottom of the stack. Enjoy!

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Bossy note – please don’t use the maple flavoured syrup you can buy in the supermarket. Yes, its 500% cheaper but there’s a reason for that, it’s synthetic and gross. So just suck it up and spend the dosh or don’t even bother. Many thanks.

Recipe: Rocky Roads

I’ve been experimenting with recipes for rocky roads for years now and everyone I feed them to loves them. I honestly think my rocky roads are the only reason I’ve had a marriage proposal. If you don’t know, rocky roads are like chocolate bars full of yummy things, usually some kind of biscuit with marshmallow, nuts or fruit. They are very naughty but very delicious.

Makes 16 bars

What you need:

  • 450g milk chocolate
  • 3 tbsp golden syrup
  • 150g unsalted butter
  • 200g digestive biscuits
  • 2 x 37g packets of Maltesers
  • 50g mini marshmallows

What you do:

  1. Break the chocolate into pieces and throw it into a large saucepan along with the golden syrup and butter. Put the pan on a low heat and leave the mixture to melt, stirring occasionally.
  2. Meanwhile, put the biscuits and Maltesers into a sandwich bag or similar and use a blunt, heavy object (meat mallet, rolling pin, frying pan, boxing glove as you pretend the biscuits are your bosses head…) to smash them into pieces. You want a mixture of crumbs and chunks.
  3. Once the chocolate mixture is melted and combined, remove it from the heat and stir in the biscuits and Maltesers as well as the mini marshmallows. Make sure you combine the ingredients thoroughly.
  4. Tip the lot into a suitable sized tin that has been lined with foil and press down firmly with a spatula. Leave the mixture in the fridge to set for at least a few hours before cutting into bars and distributing to anyone who you need to get on the good side of. Keep any leftovers (pah!) in the fridge and eat them cold for the best experience.

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I dusted these with cocoa powder to make them more photogenic. There’s really no need, just eat them and avoid the faff.

Recipe: 3 Ingredient Chocolate Bark

Oh dear. What have I discovered? The easy route to an early grave perhaps? Chocolate, sweets and pretzels all in one gloriously sweet and salty mouthful. It’s like fireworks going off with every bite and is entirely worth the blocked arteries that are due to follow. Just drink some green juice after and go for a brisk walk, you’ll be fine. Hey, what is life if we can’t live it on the edge? There was a time in my life that living on the edge was going out drinking and dancing three nights a week and still managing to hold down a job, now I consider it exciting when I can stay up late enough to watch the 10 o’clock news in my jimjams.

This recipe is the second in my three ingredient series. If you missed the first instalment, featuring a very naughty Oreo milkshake then give yourself a telling off and go see it here. These recipes are proving to be rather devilish and I like it.

Makes a decent sized slab, i.e. enough for two people to eat during the opening credits of a movie.

What you need:

  • 200g chocolate (I used milk chocolate, use whatever takes your fancy)
  • a big handful of M&Ms (I used the Crispy ones because, frankly, they are the best, but again, use whatever. The world is your oyster, so they say)
  • 30g salted pretzels, smashed up a little bit

What you do:

  • Melt the chocolate whichever way you prefer. I use the microwave, stirring every 30 seconds until solid becomes liquid. You could temper the chocolate, but really, why would you prolong the gratification of eating this just to give it a nice shine and whatever else tempering does. Suck it up. Spread the melted chocolate onto a lined baking sheet, making it as thick or thin as you like.
  • Scatter over the M&Ms, then the smashed pretzels, ensuring the goodies are evenly distributed. Pop it into the fridge to set for as long as you can bear.

Now, admire the beauty that is chocolate bark.

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Smash it up and dish it out to anyone who needs a little extra love in their lives. You will be everyone’s best friend after this. Kid having trouble making friends at school? Send them in with a lunchbox full of this. Girlfriend mad at you for spending all of Friday night on the X-Box? You know what to do. Mad at yourself for being too fat to fit into any of your dresses? Sod it, just crack on and worry about it later.

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I will leave you with this gloriously chocolatey post as I am now on holiday for a week. See you next Sunday!

Tania x